The first main event of season nine has been signed, sealed and delivered to the fans, and while CHIKARA’s management may be more corrupt than Congress, they surely haven’t given up on giving the fans quality wrestling matches.

Team F.I.S.T. – Icarus and Gran Akuma – have been sitting on three points for quite a while, dating back to September when they were originally scheduled to get a title shot against former champions the Osirian Portal in West Springfield, Massachusetts. Unfortunately, fate had its way with Gran Akuma’s physical well-being and put a delay to F.I.S.T.’s hopes of regaining the Campeonatos de Parejas. In that time? Fire Ant and Soldier Ant capitalized on F.I.S.T.’s delays and the Portal’s injuries and grabbed up the belts for themselves.

Now, these two duos face off again, adding yet another chapter to their storied rivalry. We all know the history between these two squads is deep. F.I.S.T. are the most dangerous duo in all of CHIKARA, and The Colony know this better than anyone. They took out their partner Worker Ant with one quick move on the outside. They won King of Trios, a tournament that The Colony were heavy favorites to take home. Even though they didn’t win the match and eventually lost their hair, F.I.S.T. even took The Colony to limits they had never reached before in a lucha de apuestas. Now, they look to take home the belts one more time.

January 31st. Philadelphia. Team F.I.S.T. vs. The Colony. One more time.

- CHIKARA “A Touch of Class”
January 31, 2009 ~ The Arena, Philadelphia, PA
1. CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas ~ V3: Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [The Colony] (c) vs. Icarus & Gran Akuma [Team F.I.S.T.]

Two huge matches were announced in the past 24 hours that are huge ways to wrap up the conclusion to Season Eight of CHIKARA action. First up in Easton, Mike Quackenbush, Claudio Castagnoli and Jorge “Skayde” Rivera – the trio of CHIKARA maestros that have had hands in the training of every CHIKARA Wrestle Factory alum – are going to take on The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple’s UltraMantis Black, Crossbones and Delirious. The Temple were given this match as punishment for the huge headache that they’ve caused Leonard F. Chikarason all year, and this form of payback may be the most painful for the rudos as they’re encountering a true dream team. If they’re to pull off the huge upset victory, it would be an achievement the likes of which have never been predicted in CHIKARA in the past.

The next day in Philadelphia at “Three-Fisted Tales”, it’s a title match that co-main-evented the first event of the 2009 CHIKARA calendar year: The Colony, on the champion side this time, defend the Campeonatos de Parejas against The Osirian Portal. This is the third title match between these two this season, and the first two were memorable encounters that saw both teams take each other to the limit. It’ll be no different this time around; will the Portal regain the gold that was taken from them in Nashua back in September, or can the Colony take two of three in both the match and the series?

Also noteworthy: Sara del Rey has written a blog here, clearly outlining her frustrations with the current women’s division in CHIKARA. 2009 was supposed to be a year where she was promised the top female talent from around the world, but she steamrolled over everyone CHIKARA threw her way and has laid out an open challenge for season finale weekend. Who’s going to step up and accept? We’ll find out soon, hopefully.

- CHIKARA “Throwing Life’s Instructions Away”
November 21, 2009 ~ Palmer Community Center, Easton, PA
1. Jigsaw vs. Gran Akuma
2. Loser Leaves CHIKARA: Hydra vs. Tim Donst
3. Mike Quackenbush, Claudio Castagnoli & Jorge “Skayde” Rivera vs. UltraMantis Black, Crossbones & Delirious [The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple]
4. Chuck Taylor & Icarus [F.I.S.T.] vs. Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton [The Throwbacks]
5. Player Dos vs. Yujiro Kushida
6. Lince Dorado & Helios [The Future is Now] vs. Chad Badd & Brad Badd [The Badd Boyz]

- CHIKARA “Three-Fisted Tales”
November 22, 2009 ~ The Arena, Philadelphia, PA
1. CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas ~ V2: Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [The Colony] (c) vs. Ophidian & Amasis [The Osirian Portal]
2. Respect Match: Eddie Kingston vs. Claudio Castagnoli
3. CHIKARA Young Lions Cup ~ V3: Player Dos (c) vs. Lince Dorado
4. Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw & Jorge “Skayde” Rivera vs. Gran Akuma, Icarus & Chuck Taylor [F.I.S.T.]
5. Helios vs. Yujiro Kushida
6. Hallowicked & Frightmare [Incoherence] vs. UltraMantis Black & Delirious [The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple]

Well! We take a couple of days off after the exhausting New England weekend, and the CHIKARA offices don’t cut us any slack. This update alone will hype up two new matches, a blog, a new Podcast and some more little nuggets of info. Let’s not waste time; here come the updates!

First off – new champs! The Colony have won the Campeonatos de Parejas in Nashua on Sunday, defeating the Osirian Portal in two straight falls. Wasting no time, their first defense has been signed and it’s the main event of Easton’s “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World” as Fire Ant and Soldier Ant square off against the only currently healthy duo with three points, The Roughnecks of Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood. While the Roughnecks have likely been preparing for three falls with the Portal, the ants are looking to prove that they’re not going to be one-and-done like the last tecnico team to hold the belts, the Super Smash Bros. Rumor is that, by the time you read this, the Roughnecks will have some words for the Colony in a Podcast Special Update. We’ll have that video for you here tomorrow!

While Brodie and the Grizz are going to be prepping for three falls of action in Easton, their fellow Roughneck Eddie Kingston is getting himself ready for the following night, where he’ll be taking on Big Japan’s newest rookie sensation Ryuichi Kawakami! Making his debut in December of 2008, Kawakami, a trainee of current Big Japan tag champ (and CHIKARA alum) Daisuke Sekimoto, brings a lot to the table despite being relatively new to the ring. A hype video displaying his sheer power and strength is right on the other side of this link – check it out now.

Sara del Rey has written a very interesting blog here, voicing her recent frustrations with the competition she’s been given recently. Daizee Haze recently voiced similar complaints, so perhaps something is in store for these two down the road.

The latest edition of the Podcast-a-Go-Go, featuring King of Trios 2009 action such as the Soul Touchaz vs. the UnStable and the F1RST Family vs. F.I.S.T., can be seen here

See you tomorrow with more on the latest in CHIKARA!

- CHIKARA “An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World”
October 17, 2009 ~ Palmer Community Center, Easton, PA
1. CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas ~ V1: Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [The Colony] (c) vs. Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood [The Roughnecks]
2. Gran Akuma vs. Jigsaw

- CHIKARA “Cibernetico Incredible”
October 18, 2009 ~ The Arena, Philadelphia, PA
1. Torneo Cibernetico: Tag teams will be split into two squads of 8!
2. Eddie Kingston vs. Ryuichi Kawakami

Just a few days ago Leonard F. Chikarason brought the hammer down on the current situation with Los Campeonatos de Parejas, announcing that the three teams currently in possession of 3 points towards a title shot at the Osirian Portal will all receive individual shots on a first come, first serve basis. As a result of this, West Springfield’s upcoming show will be headlined by the first of those title matches, as Amasis and the returning Ophidian defend the gold against the second and longest-reigning Campeones in CHIKARA history: Gran Akuma and Icarus of F.I.S.T. Chikarason’s decision is an extremely mixed bag for the Portal because with great risk comes great reward.

This route means that they will have three title defences in a short space of time and they will need to defeat all three to emerge as the top team in CHIKARA, ala a gauntlet match. However, if they were to do that they were surpass Hallowicked & Delirious as the best team in the history of the titles in terms of successful title defences, as they would have 6 to Incoherence’s 5. On the other hand, Akuma and Icarus have to see this as a chance to turn the tide that has been dogging them since they won King of Trios, as highlighted by the hair loss at Aniversario Yang. F.I.S.T. members are notorious for a lack of remorse and with Ophidian coming off a broken arm they will obviously be going after that. Can the Portal weather the storm and continue to reign the tag team division in CHIKARA or can Akuma and Icarus become the first two-time Campeones de Parejas?

Here’s an amusing picture of The Colony perhaps auditioning for a part in a sequel to Reservoir Dogs.

- CHIKARA “Man Makes Plans, and God Laughs”
September 12, 2009 ~ Elks Lodge, West Springfield, MA
1. Steve “The Turtle” Weiner vs. Grizzly Redwood
2. Hallowicked & Frightmare vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw
3. CHIKARA Campeonatos de Parejas Match ~ V4: Amasis & Ophidian vs. Icarus & Gran Akuma

- CHIKARA “Hidden in Plain Sight”
September 13, 2009 ~ Boys and Girls Club, Nashua, NH
1. Sara Del Rey vs. Ariel

Ever since Jigsaw returned to full-time CHIKARA competition and his signature mask back in December last year, he and his teacher “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush have made one thing clear – they are coming for Los Campeonatos de Parejas. This past weekend at King of Trios, thanks to the traditional tag gauntlet, they acquired the three points necessary to challenge for the belts, and they will not be willing to let this opportunity go by. On the other hand, their opponents, the Osirian Portal of Amasis and Ophidian, will be looking to pick up from where they left off in January where in their last defence they took out Fire Ant and Soldier Ant of The Colony. Their luck in the past against CHIKARA’s more experienced home wrestlers has not been the best (suffering losses to Incoherence), but they haven’t faced any since they won the belts last year so they’ll be wanting to make a good impression now they’re in the defending position.

However, there are also a number of intriguing subleties to this match. This will be Mike Quackenbush’s first time challenging for the belts but it will be Jigsaw’s second time, as he and Shane Storm failed to defeat Gran Akuma and Icarus in March 2007. Furthermore, when Amasis first hit the CHIKARA scene in September 2007 it was he and Ophidian that exploited the cracks in the Storm/Jigsaw team to win, a victory that inevitably saw ShaneSaw dissolve. Then just last year in Wallingford it was Storm and Quackenbush defeating the Osirian Portal in one of the year’s more exciting matches. These wrestlers have a fair amount of history with each other and with the title belts themselves, but only one team will leave Easton as champions.

- CHIKARA “Behind the 8 Ball″
April 25, 2009 ~ Palmer Community Center, Easton, PA
1. CHIKARA Campeones de Parejas ~ Best of 3 Falls ~ V3: Amasis & Ophidian [c] [The Osirian Portal] vs. Jigsaw & Mike Quackenbush
2. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [The Colony] vs. Chuck Taylor & Icarus [F.I.S.T.]

In a late update to the official CHIKARA blog, Worker Ant has spoken on behalf of his associates Fire Ant and Soldier Ant, explaining the grudge between the Colony and the Osirian Portal before announcing what the stipulation will be for their upcoming title match. In short, Worker has selected a one-fall contest with Escorpion Egipcio barred from the building. The complete post is as follows:

1/13/2009: After all this time, things are finally going The Colony’s way. Together, Fire and Soldier have picked up a mindblowing 7 points (OMGZ!) Plus, we’re on track to qualify for King of Trios 2009 in Reading next month! When my fellow ants become Campeones, and we sweep King of Trios, all that will be left is for me to finally get a run in the Young Lions Cup tournament! Then, people will realize that it’s 2009 that will be the Year of the Ant.

Before all that goes down, there’s some business to address as it relates to “Revelation X”, and the long overdue title shot with The Osirian Portal. Since my boys Fire Ant and Soldier Ant have earned more points than any other tag team in CHIKARA history, Leonard F. Chikarason has decided to extend special consideration for this accomplishment. We can have the title match anyway we want it. So, we had a conference back at the anthill today to talk over the opportunity, and reflect on some of the things that went down back in December at “Face With a View” and “Duel and Duality.”

In Easton, things went a little sour. Grizzly Redwood attacked my knee, and left me unable to compete at “Duel and Duality”, a move that almost cost Fire and Soldier all their points. It would have taken just one loss to wipe away everything they had built up. It wasn’t until later we found out that he was working under instructions from Amasis. Later that same night, Amasis interfered in Fire’s match with Escorpion Egipcio and tried to screw up Soldier’s chances of beating Ophidian. As if that weren’t enough, two nights later, the members of the Osirian Portal tried to interfere in our match with 2.0, and it was only my mad crutch-swinging skills that saved the day.

So, taking all this into account, we’ve made up our minds. Here’s what we want come “Revelation X” , to give Fire and Soldier the best chance possible to bring home the gold. For starters, the title match will be just one fall. It’s do or die time, Egyptians. Also, we want Escorpion Egipcio barred from the building. We don’t want any more outside interference, extra help or shenanigans, and this way, we feel like it’ll be a fair fight – just Fire Ant and Soldier Ant vs. Ophidian and Amasis. That’s they way we want it – Book it, Chikarason!

- CHIKARA “Revelation X”
January 25, 2009 ~ New Alhambra Arena, Philadelphia, PA
1. KC “Cloudy” Day & Cheech Hernandez [1] vs. STIGMA & Colin Delaney [0] [The UnStable]
2. Hallowicked & Frightmare [0] [Incoherence] vs. Grizzly Redwood & Brodie Lee [0]
3. LuFisto vs. Sara Del Rey
4. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw [1] vs. UltraMantis Black & Crossbones [0] [The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple]
5. King of Trios ~ Qualifying Match: Player Uno, Player Dos & Create-A-Wrestler [Saturday Night Slam Masters] vs. Mitch Ryder, Larry Sweeney & Buck Hawke [Fabulous Three]
6. Young Lions Cup Decision Match ~ Ladder Match: Jimmy Olsen vs. Vin Gerard
7. Campeonatos de Parejas Title Match ~ V2 ~ 1 Fall Match: Amasis & Ophidian [c] [The Osirian Portal] vs. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [7] [The Colony]

- Escorpion Egipcio will be barred from the building for the Osirian Portal vs. Colony contest at the request of the Colony.

Following the announcement of the qualifying matches for King of Trios, the first actual entrant has been confirmed – sort of. According to the CHIKARA MySpace, Leonard F. Chikarason has granted Mike Quackenbush and two mystery wrestlers an automatic spot in the tournament, stating that they deserve it “on reputation alone”. It is currently unknown who the two wrestlers are, although much speculation has been going around regarding Quack’s past alliances…

Finally, Leonard F. Chikarason has also confirmed that “The Funky Pharaoh” Amasis will indeed be cleared to wrestle on the January 25 show, meaning that the #1 contenders to the Osirian Portal’s Campeonatos de Parejas – Fire Ant and Soldier Ant of The Colony – will finally receive their title shot. However, due to the quite absurd number of points that Fire and Soldier have acquired – a total of 7 – an interesting stipulation has been added. The challengers will be able to choose what sort of a match the bout will be, which means that it does not have to be under the traditional Best of 3 Falls rules, a first for the Campeonatos.

- CHIKARA “Revelation X”
January 25, 2009 ~ New Alhambra Arena, Philadelphia, PA
1. KC “Cloudy” Day & Cheech Hernandez [1] vs. STIGMA & Colin Delaney [0] [The UnStable]
2. Hallowicked & Frightmare [0] [Incoherence] vs. Grizzly Redwood & Brodie Lee [0]
3. LuFisto vs. Sara Del Rey
4. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw [1] vs. UltraMantis Black & Crossbones [0] [The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple]
5. King of Trios ~ Qualifying Match: Player Uno, Player Dos & Create-A-Wrestler [Saturday Night Slam Masters] vs. Mitch Ryder, Larry Sweeney & Buck Hawke [Fabulous Three]
6. Young Lions Cup Decision Match ~ Ladder Match: Jimmy Olsen vs. Vin Gerard
7. Campeonatos de Parejas Title Match ~ V2 ~ Stipulations TBA: Amasis & Ophidian [c] [The Osirian Portal] vs. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant [7] [The Colony]

- CHIKARA “King of Trios 2009″
March 27, 28 & 29, 2009 ~ New Alhambra Arena, Philadelphia, PA

FEATURING:
1. Mike Quackenbush & X & X
2. The Fabulous Three (Mitch Ryder, Larry Sweeney & Buck Hawke) OR The Saturday Night Slam Masters (Player Uno, Player Dos & Create-A-Wrestler)
3. The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Worker Ant) OR F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma, Chuck Taylor & Icarus)
4. The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black & Crossbones) & Sami Callihan OR Brodie Lee & Eddie Kingston & Grizzly Redwood